There are only 44 days now until we leave the country. It seems like such a huge undertaking (and there’s lots to organise, as our Operation GPL Wiki is testament to), but really it’s just a (seemingly endless) series of very small tasks one after the other. We spent the weekend getting ready for the house opens (lighting so many candles!). On Saturday Orlando was oblivious to the inspections as he spent the entire day sleeping under a bush in the yard. Sunday, however, he was more alert to the strange goings on, so we had to put him in his travel box and take him for a walk to the park. We spent a nice half and hour under a shady tree with Orlando on the picnic table sniffing the air for all the new smells. I don’t think he’d ever been for a walk before.

I will take him to Dr John’s this week to get an idea of how his kidneys are faring.

I only have five weeks of work left. Work is very busy, but much of it is now preparation for next year, so I have this sense of feeling oddly detached.

Yesterday’s ecstatic housewife was not the only woman who enjoys doing the washing in Newnes Home Management.

This one looks like she’s just made a new friend. That girlish grin is so transparent.

The Hoover Mark II is electrically operated!

I think she’s hoping it’ll wash the dishes for her too.

The weekly wash: a spiritual experience.

Floor mopped? Check. Washing folded? Check. Impregnated with the Lord’s child? Check.

When I got home there was an enormous ‘for sale’ board erected against our front fence. It’s Friday the 13th…

… I hope it’s not a bad *snigger* sign. Ha!

With Spring well and truly here, it’s time to “turn-out” your rooms. Newnes Home Management guides you in the best way to turn out a room, without losing in the glamour stakes.

Maintaining glamour during spring cleaning can be an uphill battle. Head scarves need to be tied ‘just so’ – ensure you can still see some of your gorgeous tresses, as a full turban can be unfeminine. By all means wear gloves to protect your delicate hands, but nothing should stop you wearing full makeup and your signature beauty spot. The key is cheekbones, cheekbones, cheekbones.

Let’s talk house-dresses, ladies. Something well-cut that shows off your curves. A knee-length dress can be alluring if you wear it right, but you need to be demure.  Knees together girls – even when scrubbing soot stains from the carpets!

Try to keep your legs crossed at all times – even up ladders! This is the only time that you can get away with a low heel.

Make certain that people can see you from two angles by standing in front of a mirror when possible. Ensure the Ajax doesn’t obscure their view, and that you are backlit, preferably by a natural source such as a window.

Keep a smile on your face – even when reaching behind the cushions – who knows what you might find there!

At the end of the process, have the maid bring you a cup of tea before she gets to work restoring order from the chaos you have created. Remove your headwear to ensure no-one mistakes you for one of ‘the help’. Avoid eye contact.

I just came back from the school’s Art Show. As an Assistant Principal it was my job to hand out awards to the Year 7 and 8s and shake their hands, for which I earned a rather nice bottle of red wine. The perks of the job! There were some great art works on display and it’s nice to see the community come together.

Yesterday I collected Doris’s ashes from the vet. I was very sad driving her home for the last time – she used to be so vocal in the car, as it wasn’t one of her favourite things. The ashes are in a nice little wooden box. This afternoon I was discussing with Mark whether we should scatter or keep the ashes. I was holding the box  in both hands and coming down the four steps from our lounge room to the kitchen when I stumbled and fell – I landed bang on both knees, and then elbows, still holding Doris is my two hands – I wasn’t going to drop her and have a “Meet the Parents” moment with ashes flying everywhere. Mark witnessed the whole thing.

I think she must have wandered under my feet as came down the stairs…

I don’t think she wants to be scattered.

Today is a public holiday for the Melbourne Cup horse race, which means I have had some more time to get the house ready. We have the photographer coming at sunset tomorrow so everything has to be “photo ready” by then. We had the most incredibly busy weekend – it’s amazing how all those little jobs add up. I did everything from washing walls to painting the security door, and Mark tended to the outside. We then spent most of Sunday re-staging Mark’s study as a bedroom. It’s all coming together now.

Orlando is sleeping in what was Doris’s favourite spot on the back of the couch. He used to join her there occasionally, but it was very much her sleeping place. It must still smell of her, so I can’t decide whether Orlando is missing Doris or re-establishing territory.

On Friday Mark got a visit from one of our neighbours. Her children and some of their friends were planning to go “trick or treating” in the neighbourhood on Halloween. She felt that it wasn’t fair to expect people to have to lay in supplies for this quite non-Australian affair, so she produced half a bag of lollies (candy) for us to give to the children when they visited the following evening. Mark, who lived in America for several years, explained that he would be stocking up on supplies from the supermarket (“just in case”, he always explains to me – though somehow we always end up eating them all ourselves on November 1st) and she was delighted. She continued on her journey to the rest of the residents on the street.

The next day, at 5pm, the neighbour visited again, this time checking we were home and declaring the estimated time of a arrival of the children. When they  arrived (about ten minutes late) they were vociferous and very polite (though one little girl snatched four of the items, leaving only a Freddo Frog for her little brother). They appeared to have no tricks on them, though their costumes were quite good. They were also not very interested engaging in conversations about their costumes: all they wanted was the goods.

There were no more trick-or-treaters that evening (so we have now consumed all the leftover Milky Ways and Fun Size Mars Bars…). We felt guilty though, for having participated in The Collective Halloween Deception. What sort of world was this woman setting her children up for? A world where they will never experience disappointment or hear the word “no”? A world where every door opens and produces candy?

What would you have done if this woman had come to your door?

Found at Joe My God.

As he came down the stairs this evening, Mark casually informed me that he will be in the 2010 edition of Who’s Who, and asked if we want to buy a commemorative silver platter.

I questioned him exhaustively as he passed the letter with gold embossing to me – When did he find this out? Why wasn’t I told earlier? Is my name in it too, given that we are Civil Partners? How much is said sliver platter?

Why this didn’t warrant an email from him at work I’ll never know!

I feel like Hyacinth Bucket (it’s Boo-Kay!): “Won’t you come along to one of my candlelight suppers with mulled wine and hot minced pies? We could drink tea from my Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles!”